my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm just crazy horny about you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
