I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
