i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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