Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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