Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This house was built for laser tag.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
