he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
