My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
