hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
