I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
