guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
