first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
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then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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