Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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