Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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