Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
