are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
