birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
