i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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