I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
