he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My vagina is officially offended.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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