Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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