At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I didn't notice because vodka
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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