This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize