oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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