Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
