His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
