Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
