so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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