hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
