my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize