then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize