Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize