We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
