im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
