So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
