Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You dont lie about slip and slides
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ladies don't puke and tell
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
