I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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