I feel great
I just peed on a car
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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