I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
