I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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