ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
