He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
