my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
