Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize