Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
