I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
if only i could text you this smell
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
