I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
