Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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