I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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