bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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