Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
