Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
