Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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