Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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