Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
