I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
