3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
