my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
