Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i would punch a child for taco bell
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
