It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
