ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Welp...herpes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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