i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
