I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
