when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
